I didn't... [ He trails off without finishing that thought, because he realizes that actually, he probably was (even if unintentionally), and she knows him well enough to easily call him out if he tries to deny it.
Just...as long as you know I'm not trying to be difficult about this.
[ It's a little sheepish. Life would certainly be simpler if he had some kind of a self-worth switch he could just -- flick, and see what it is she sees. ]
[ And here he is, worried that she'll try to take too much blame for his mental state.
Megumi's never been good at being happy to begin with, and that's nobody's fault...well, there are some people who could probably be said to have a hand in it, but it mostly just comes down to the horrible state of jujutsu society and probably a bad lack of serotonin. ]
Do you want me to come over?
[ Because, look. There may be a lot of things they can't fix, but that one is easy. ]
[ Well, he's not going to call her out on it. It's fine.
He's just going to come straight in to pull her close, one hand running through her hair, one moving to rub her back. No words necessary -- and honestly, sometimes he thinks no words are better, because he's never been good at finding the right ones, given how hard he avoids the chances to practice. Talk is cheap.
[ her breath catches. she hadn't expected him to... no, she should have. a shaking breath pours out of her as she slowly wraps her arms around him in turn, her heart throbbing in response to his sure and gentle comfort.
why is he comforting her, in this situation? ]
I should be the one comforting you, [ she whispers, the shiver in her voice stuck halfway between tears and laughter. ]
[ It's been eating at her. That's crystal clear even if he were to discount the emotions flowing through their tether. So why wouldn't he want to comfort her? ]
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[ Because what an awful thought, of anyone's mental well-being resting solely on a wreck like him, but he has the sense to keep that one to himself.
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sniff. ]
As long as you know that you do.
[ it's a good things he keeps that to himself, lest she get all over his case about it.
she blows out a sigh and flops back onto her bed, the back of one hand pressed to her forehead as she stares at her ceiling.
a slightly different problem is presenting itself, here. her mind has tracked back to how they got here: her conversation with Yuji. ]
Don't go thinking it's because you're not enough.
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So he adjusts course. ]
-- I'll try.
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[ gently. ]
Megumi. [ her frustration is palpable in the murmur. she hates they're not discussing this in person. ] It's me. Not you.
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[ It's a little sheepish. Life would certainly be simpler if he had some kind of a self-worth switch he could just -- flick, and see what it is she sees. ]
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[ ...
Lortel breathes out a slow sigh and commits to utter honesty, for once. ]
It would kill me if you were unhappy because of me. Because I made you feel like you weren't...
[ she makes a frustrated sound. ] I wish you were here.
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Megumi's never been good at being happy to begin with, and that's nobody's fault...well, there are some people who could probably be said to have a hand in it, but it mostly just comes down to the horrible state of jujutsu society and probably a bad lack of serotonin. ]
Do you want me to come over?
[ Because, look. There may be a lot of things they can't fix, but that one is easy. ]
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[ immediate and a little subdued. ]
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[ And it'll be a quick journey, since he's taking the shortcut of leapfrogging between the shadows to cut the travel time. ]
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only insomuch as she's waiting outside the Blue Note, for once, wrapped in a long, fluffy cardigan as she leans in the doorway and waits for him.
he can always get to her faster than she can get to him. sometimes a source of frustration, for her.
when she spots him on their street she'll stand straight, watching as he approaches.
... before, perhaps, she would have held back. not wanted to commit, so that she couldn't be disappointed by her own expectations.
but this—he is worthy of her trust.
terrified, still, of rejection, of rebuke, of abandonment—
she simply holds open her arms without a word. ]
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He's just going to come straight in to pull her close, one hand running through her hair, one moving to rub her back. No words necessary -- and honestly, sometimes he thinks no words are better, because he's never been good at finding the right ones, given how hard he avoids the chances to practice. Talk is cheap.
Megumi's always spoken best through action. ]
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why is he comforting her, in this situation? ]
I should be the one comforting you, [ she whispers, the shiver in her voice stuck halfway between tears and laughter. ]
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[ It's been eating at her. That's crystal clear even if he were to discount the emotions flowing through their tether. So why wouldn't he want to comfort her? ]