ic inbox.

[potentialman]

Comments

[offseers]

[ no real preamble but: ]

Is being homeless bad?

[potentialman]

[ Hm. Well, it's bad in the sense that if you don't have a place to sleep and you want to have one, that kind of sucks, but the way Noah's asking sounds more like -- ]

Do you mean as a value judgment? Because it shouldn't be, but a lot of people do treat it like one.

[offseers]

I'm pretty sure he meant it as one. He called me a homeless guy with a knife.

[potentialman]

Yeah, that sounds like it. [ Sigh. ]

Nomadic lifestyles aren't terribly common on modern Earth, so having a fixed place to stay is important. And it tends to correlate with one's economic status. If you can't afford a place to stay, a lot of people will look down on that and assume you're either poor or mentally ill. Neither of which should be a value judgment, either, but...

[offseers]

I wasn't really insulted, just confused.

He just wanted to get a rise out of me.

[potentialman]

Yeah. It's used as an insult, but it shouldn't be.

[offseers]

It's fine. I was out of sorts anyway.

[potentialman]

I don't think I've ever seen you get short with someone.

[ Because "out of sorts" seems like it might be doing some heavy lifting here... ]

[offseers]

[ a deliberate pause. ]

I haven't been myself lately. It's just been . . . hard.

[potentialman]

Is there anything I can do to help?

[offseers]

[ another long pause. ]

There's something I haven't told anyone. About Lortel.

[potentialman]

[ Megumi doesn't ask outright, because if it's something Noah's held back from everyone, it's probably for good reason, and he doesn't want to pry -- especially when the topic of conversation is no longer here to have her say.

But there's a pulse of acceptance from his end of the connection, a non-verbal if you want to tell me, I'm listening. If you don't, that's okay too. ]

[offseers]

[ he's been struggling with this for days now. he couldn't tell ivan or any of the others and the distance between them all feels like a gulf.

with megumi it feels slightly easier to breathe it out. ]

Before she left, she remembered something from her past. Her death.

[potentialman]

She died?

[offseers]

That's what she told me.

She seemed sure of it.

[potentialman]

[ There are a lot of questions that raises. About what Sleep's done that would cause such a gap of memory -- and to suddenly restore it. About the motive behind doing such.

But first and foremost... ]

You've been worrying about her going back to that.

[ Lortel's disappearance would've hit Noah hard regardless, Megumi's fairly sure, but for it to happen after a revelation like that...no wonder Noah's mood has seemed a bit off. ]

[offseers]

[ the murmur is imperfect. it's not the iris that projects video and audio so clear from the scope of your eye. and yet, the method of communication through the murmur suits noah well and ill. his empathy and feelings always come without fail — and that leaves the deeper waters churning. ]

I'm just tired of watching people slip away.

[potentialman]

I'm sorry. That's...a lot to carry by yourself.

[ He can still remember the immense sense of relief he felt when he finally explained to Yuji and Nobara about his sister's coma. Acting as though things are normal when something's tearing you apart inside is sometimes the best way to get through the day...but it still wears you down. ]

[offseers]

[ noah lets out a quiet breath that rattles in the space between. ]

What can't I carry these days?

[potentialman]

...yeah, I guess it's not like we can do much but endure it. But at least you don't have to carry all of it by yourself.

[offseers]

How can I pass it onto someone else?

Isn't that unfair?

[potentialman]

It's not unfair if I'm offering, right?

[offseers]

. . . I don't want to add to people's grief. We have enough of that.

[potentialman]

You're there for everyone, Noah. But sometimes people want to be there for you, too.

[ Not...that Megumi can judge... ]

[offseers]

They do?

[ news to him. ]